Dealing With Break-Ups |

  

If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, pretty much you’re no doubt struggling to keep your composure and your dignity!  Well the honest truth is that if you fail to hold onto to your composure and your dignity, then any chance of getting your ex boyfriend back will probably be lost.

So, it’s time to stop acting like a pouting princess and instead start behaving like a responsible and mature young woman who knows her own mind and is capable of making tough decisions.

Now, discovering that you have an ex boyfriend to get back means you’re really going to need to look at whatever it was that caused the split between the two of you in the first place.  If you dumped him on a whim because of something that he did and you have now put what happened into perspective, then without a doubt, you’re going to have to do some apologizing and back peddling.  So take a deep breath, stay calm and go and see him.  Tell him that you have had time to think and you’re now ready to forgive and forget.  Not only that, you would  also like to apologize for any over reaction on your part. With any luck that will be the end of the rift and you will have succeeded in getting him back.

However, if there is more to it or he doesn’t accept your apology and you find you still have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you’re going to have to do some more work.

Look at yourself!  If you find yourself constantly in turmoil with your love life, then take a long hard look at what might be causing the problem.  If you have issues about your own behavior that has caused comments from others or that you’re not happy with, then face them.  Truth is, if you are going to make a success of this relationship or any future relationship, then you have to take the long hard walk and sort yourself out.

Here are some clues!  Avoid making decisions when you’re emotional.  You will probably make a ton of wrong decisions if you are not calm and have not thought through outcomes and consequences.   Especially true, if you have an ex boyfriend to get back, because emotions and gestures are definitely the wrong approach to take to a love life in turmoil.

So, think clearly and take your time about your approach to win him back.  Present him with valid and tangible reasons why this time around the relationship will be different and so stand a chance of working.  At all costs, dump the pouting princess and reveal to him a grown up and capable young woman he can have some fun with.

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Finished with your guy?  Want to desperately get guy back?  Then you’re going to have to use a strategy that will help you get him back and not cause him to head for the hills!

Firstly remember that just because you want him back it doesn’t mean that he wants to come back.  If you’ve broken up before and your relationship has become a breakup/makeup merry go round, pretty soon one or both of you will want to one day get off that particular ride for good.  So, there is a chance that he might have reached this point, no matter what you now feel and want.

Secondly to get guy back you’re really going to have to look at the relationship as a whole, not just the parts you’re comfortable looking at, because only then can you begin to find out what’s causing the problems.

If you need outside third party help to scrutinize your relationship, then it’s always worthwhile getting that help.  If you have good and honest friends who will tell you what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear, then talk to them.

You should also understand that to pull this off you’re going to have to stop acting on whim and emotion and start working a well thought out proven plan.  This is probably the most crucial step you will need to take, so get yourself under control.  Sit down and plan to do whatever it takes to stop yourself running around making things worse – stop calling him, texting him and trying to force him to see you because begging and pleading won’t work. 

Instead, occupy yourself by getting out and meeting new people, take a class, get fit, whatever it takes to help you re-focus and approach the whole situation from a point of clarity and calmness, is what you need to do.

Especially take the time to look at why you want to get guy back, because to be honest, too many people find themselves back with their exs only to discover a few weeks down the line that they have made a huge mistake.  So just because you want to get guy back right now, ask yourself if you really should?

If you’ve come to the conclusion that getting this guy back is the right move for you, then once you have yourself under control and you’ve thought things through, then your next move is to call and talk to him.

Understand that he may very well need more time before he is ready to speak to you never mind, entertain the idea of rekindling your relationship.  Your goal, if this happens, is not to force the situation.  Instead, tell him that you understand completely and then tell him you will give him more time to think things through.  Leave it at that and continue living your life and keeping yourself busy.

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So you were dating a guy you really liked and then one day you noticed a tiny little issue about him that you didn’t really like and you dumped boyfriend! Just like that!  Out of the blue!  But have you really dug down deep to try and understand why you dumped boyfriend?

Perhaps you’ve told yourself that it was the way he ate his food?  Or the way he laughed or perhaps even something as earth shattering as the way that he walked?  Whatever it was that made you turn around and end up with a dumped boyfriend, boy are you regretting it now because now, you want him back.  But here’s the thing he wants nothing to do with you and everything that you’ve tried so far to get him back, as failed.

Well, have you tried just leaving him alone for a while?  Because pretty much you’ve hurt his feelings big time and he’s doubtless feeling humiliated.  If you’ve been calling him 24/7 and he’s just not picking up, then that’s a clear indication that he needs you to leave him alone.

So instead of bombarding him with text messages and calls, give him some space and take a look at the real hidden reasons that might have caused you to wake up one morning with a dumped boyfriend.

Truth is some girls have been known to ‘test’ the relationship by ending it to see if their boyfriends will put up a fight for them and the relationship.  If this is what you did, then this is basically flawed behavior.  Not only that, ask yourself why you would even want to put someone who you clearly have feelings for through the upset of a breakup?

Usually anyone who tries to manipulate someone to this extreme, has deep rooted self-esteem issues that they should really think about working out.  Your self-esteem is really the inner you.  If you are suffering from low self-esteem then the little voice in your head often shouts negativity at you and tells you that you are just not good enough.  Take the time to address this and you will be far happier.

To win back a dumped boyfriend you’re going to have to clearly work on yourself. No self-respecting boyfriend wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and doesn’t know her own mind.  In future, make sure you’re one hundred per cent sure about what you are doing and why you are doing it. 

Instead of dumping the guy, why not sit and talk to him about your fears and your insecurities.  He will think more of you if you are honest with him, rather than if you simply lash out on a whim and dump him for what appears to be no good reason.

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Getting dumped by your boyfriend is no fun and if you’re still in love with him then you’re probably desperately trying to find help on how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Following the tips I’m about to outline for you is a great start that will set you on the right road to winning him back.

The worst thing that you can do in your quest to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back, is to get desperate and needy.  Desperate and needy spells out of control and high maintenance.  Boyfriends hate out of control and high maintenance because it means they never know what you’ll do and where you’ll do it and so they’re never at ease.  Letting your ex boyfriend see that you’re out of control is a surefire way to drive him away, so if this is you, you need to stop.

Not only that in this state, you hand over far too much power to your ex boyfriend and you could find yourself taken advantage of big time.  So if you want him back, don’t set yourself up for a possibly painful and frustrating time.

What you should also avoid is to make yourself too readily available to your ex as you try and work out how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Show him that you value and have pride in yourself and that you’re not sitting home waiting for him to call.  Get out and about and show him that you’ve got your life together and that you’ve taken the breakup in your stride.  Having him believe anything else makes your goal to get him back an up hill battle that you will probably lose.  So don’t sit at home obsessing about what he might or might not be up to.  Get yourself out!

If you want to get him back, make sure that you’re looking after yourself.  After all, you need to give him something to want to come back to and that means not letting yourself go.  Instead of staying home consoling yourself with chocolate and soda make sure that you hit the gym and keep on hitting it!  Start eating healthily and be sure you’re always looking your best when you’re out and about.  Not only will all of this make you look good, but it will do the world of good for your self-esteem which has no doubt taken a huge blow through all of this.

Now everything outlined works together, so if you’re after the best results don’t apply each step in isolation.  They all impact on each other and that’s how you should use these steps when you’re trying to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back.

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If you dumped girlfriend and you want her back, then you’re going to have to move fast but not so fast that you make the classic mistakes that guys make when they’re trying desperately to get back with their exs.

If you want to get her back then I bet you’ve been sending her expensive gifts, trying desperately to get her attention and prove something to her about how you feel.  Chances are none of that has worked, because to be honest it’s pretty old hat and your girlfriend wants to see something more honest and much more innovative from you.

A dumped girlfriend is likely out to make you jump through a few hoops before she takes you back, even if she desperately wants you back.  And if you did dump her, it’s going to be hard to argue against her feeling that way.

You’ve without a doubt greatly hurt her feelings and her pride and she’s going to exact some revenge for that.  Depending on how desperate you are to get her back will tell you the level to which you’ll be prepared to put up with what she throws at you.

If she needs you to explain what you did and why you did it, then you better take some time to figure it out in your own head and be sincere when you sit down to explain it to her.

If she needs an apology from you and a sound promise from you that you will never do it again, then you’re going to have to do that.

Maybe you panicked as you saw the relationship deepening and getting more and more serious.  It’s a pretty common feature for some guys and to suddenly feel as they are feeling smothered and overwhelmed in a relationship and instead of sitting down with their girlfriends, they panic.  Before you know it, they have a dumped girlfriend and they’re living with regret.  So perhaps this is the situation that you have to explain to your ex girlfriend.  If it is, again, be honest.

What you must guard against in a situation where you were clearly in the wrong and you over reacted, is that you don’t become her punching bag.  Don’t allow her to use you as an emotional vessel into which she pours out all her frustrations and anger just because she can.  So doormat out, understanding and apologetic guy in!

Chances are if the two of you still have feelings for each other, you will get her back after you dumped girlfriend, but you have to be clear that you’re happy to try again and not simply reacting to feeling bad about the way you treated her.

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Once you’ve been dumped by an ex that you’re still in love with then your main goal is usually to find some way to win back an ex who has broken your heart. What is usually the case though is that most people don’t have a clue where to start and they either rush around sending expensive gifts or making a ton of phone calls – all of which only serve to push their exs further away.

Your opening move to win back an ex, should always be to approach the mission in a calm and relaxed manner.  Do nothing that is going to make you appear as desperate and needy because again, your ex will only find it a turn off.

To get yourself in a calm and rational place, you need to take some time out from the heat and drama of the breakup.  Too often people don’t take this time out and instead just panic and believe they have to win back an ex by going straight in hard from day one.

As you take this time, concentrate on the things that are going to make you feel good about yourself and what you need to keep your spirits up.  So make sure that you’re not spending too much time on your own and that you’re instead out with friends and having some fun. Truly this is possibly the last thing you want to do, but you’d be amazed how much of a difference this one step can make to your prospects of getting back with the one you love.

For the same reason looking after your body is key.  When you take the time to do some regular exercise and eat well, you begin to feel focused, less confused and defeatist about what you’re going through.  You don’t have to join a gym if that’s not your thing.  You simply need to find what works for you and stick to it.  It could be as simple as a regular walk or joining a sports team or simply a regular kick around with the kids.  Anything that gets you up on your feet and has the blood pumping.

Eating well is also part of this.  Don’t fall into the obvious trap of over indulging where food and drink are concerned.  It might make you feel consoled initially but eventually it will ruin any chance you might have to win back an ex.  So eat well and drink in moderation.

Connect all of these points and you have the beginnings of proven plan to begin the job to win back an ex.

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To win back ex boyfriend, try dating someone else! Your first thought is that that doesn’t sound right! It sounds counter-intuitive and you’re flat out not going to do it! Right? Well what if it’s the right thing to do and by doing it you move yourself closer to getting back together with your ex boyfriend? Would you do it then?

Let me explain! When you’ve been dumped by someone you’re still in love with, instinctively your first thoughts are to chase after them and to beg and plead with them to take you back. It’s pretty much a mad panic on your part to get right back into the relationship before your ex boyfriend forgets about you and or meets someone else.

Well pretty much you need to understand that your ex boyfriend is not going to forget about you just because the two of you broke up. Plus if he still has strong feelings for you, just because he’s dating someone else it doesn’t mean there’s no way back for the two of you. So there’s really no need to panic!

Instead to win back ex boyfriend trust that taking some time out is the right thing to do and take that time out. During this time away from your ex boyfriend, be sure not to contact him in anyway. Just let him get on with whatever he’s doing and you do the same.

Once you accept that you’re not going to be contacting your ex boyfriend, it’s time to put on your best outfit, reconnect with your friends and get out and have some fun. Not only will this keep you busy and stop the temptation to call your ex, but it will also boost your confidence no end.

If you meet someone who you feel you’d like to date, don’t let your desire to win back ex boyfriend stop you. Remember, you’re not actually in a relationship with your ex, you’ve broken up and you’re a free agent. So if you’re emotionally ready to have some fun, go ahead and have some!

What you should do first and foremost though, is to make it clear to whoever you decide to date that you’re not interested in anything heavy or full on, you just want to have some fun.

What you should also be clear about in your own mind, is that this is not about making your ex boyfriend jealous. It is only about keeping your spirits high and helping you come to terms with the situation with your ex boyfriend. You never know, you might enjoy this new guy so much that you decide that getting back with your ex boyfriend is not what you want to do after all. Equally using this time apart to explore how you feel, can be a real way to win back ex boyfriend.

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If you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back, you are probably wanting to know how to win your ex-girlfriend back forever. You went through the pain once and you probably don’t want to go through it again. You made mistakes, now it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the situation and figure out where to go from this point. Learning how to win ex girlfriend back may mean that you have to change the way you do things. You will have to take a FOREVER approach.

Fouled Up:

Admit that you did it. Admit that you made mistakes that cost you this relationship. You have to be able to own up to your mistakes and that means you have to own them. They were your mistakes, not anyone else’s. Admit it. This is the best place to start if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back.
Objectively Look At Yourself: Take a good long look at who you are and what was it about you that caused this to happen. Were your mistakes a symptom of a bigger problem that you have? If it was, find out what it was. Look for the bigger picture.

Regret What Happened:

There are some who will tell you to regret nothing. That is incredibly bad advice. If you made a mistake that hurt someone, you should feel regret and guilt. You should feel even worse if it was someone that you love.

Evaluate the Situation:

Assess the damage done. One of the things that people have to do when they are trying to rebuild something that was destroyed is to look around and see what just happened. Once the source of the destruction (your mistakes) has been identified it’s time to see what remains. Is there anything worth saving left? Is there enough left that can be built back? Hopefully there is still a foundation left and the damage wasn’t so much that there is nothing left to rebuild. You will have to do this if you want to know how to win ex girlfriend back.

Verify That You Have A Chance:

You may be totally dedicated to trying and put things back together but your ex girlfriend may not be. It is hard to win back your ex if they have no desire to bring the love or the relationship back. If they have decided to move on, there may be nothing you can do about it. That is the reality of the situation, that your actions and mistakes may have consequences that involve you losing your girlfriend forever.

Engage In Dialogue:

If your ex girlfriend is willing to talk about anything at all, let it happen. You may have to endure her venting on you and blasting who you are and letting you know how big the mistakes were that you made. This is no time to get defensive.
Hopefully these were all things that you realized on your own but hearing it may give you more resolve to correct those mistakes.

Respect:

Respect what she says. Respect her feelings. Respect her wishes. Treat her with respect.

It may be tough to do but if you really want to know how to win ex girlfriend back forever, you will have to take your medicine.

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To get an ex back you may have to learn how to be sneaky. Getting back together with you may be the last thing on their mind but it is at the forefront of yours. You will have to learn to be more covert in how you interact with this person so they don’t know what you are up to.

Trying to figure out how to get back an ex is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for the relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or break up usually has one person that is still hanging. It might be obvious to the person that wants to move on that you weren’t ready to and want to get an ex back.

Do things that make is look like you are ready to move on and that you aren’t trying to get an ex back. Have fun. Go out with friends and have a blast. Don’t try and rub their nose in it. Be obvious to their friends, though, that you are going out and having fun. Word will get back to them that you are back and if you are moving forward faster than what they are, it might bother them.

When the two of you do talk, don’t fill their head with all these things that you are doing. Just let them know that you are happy. It will be easy to try and make them feel jealous. This may happen anyway. Try and make it seem like their life is worth being happy about as well. It may not seem like it but this will go a long way in trying to get back an ex. You are trying to make them feel like a more stable and independent person and that is a quality that most people are drawn to.

Give it some time. You may think about them every day but you don’t need to let them know about that for a while. It may be too obvious that you are only interested in trying to get an ex back. Wait a couple weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going. Sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends have tried to get back in touch with you and do the same thing.

When/if they start talking, just let them talk. They will be more likely to be drawn to someone who values what they have to say and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been. You may need them but let them get to a point where they value having you because you will listen to them. You may find them needing you and trying to get an ex back.

After you have been able to keep this up and re-develop a friendship they may want to get back together with you. While you may consider yourself pursuing them, you may find yourself being pursued. It is very likely, though, that you won’t have to make the first move. It could be they would rather do it themselves. The best way to get an ex back is to have them wanting to get you back.

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If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:
1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.
2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.
3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.
4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.
5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.
6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?
7) Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.
Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.

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