Dealing With Break-Ups |

How To Deal With A Break Up

How To Deal With A Breakup

Monday Oct 27, 2008

  

Ok you’ve broken up, and you think you will never be the same again. First off don’t panic. It’s perfectly fine to let your emotions out.

After all you are in a very tough situation right now. Breaking up when you aren’t ready (who could ever be ready), can be a shocking jolt to your entire world.

The first thing to remember is that you’re not alone. It may feel like you are right now, but you are NOT.

Thousands of people are out there just like you, just searching for Read the rest of this entry »

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How To Win Your Ex Back The Right Way

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

Truth is there are many ways that you can learn how to win your ex back. Some of them will be ways that have no chance of working. Being overly pushy about it is one way that some people will advocate, but that way is one that is doomed to failure in the overwhelming majority of cases.

There are also some ways that will have some chance of working, but will restart the relationship in a mode that is far too unhealthy for it to actually be able to last. For example, some people have been known to cave in to pressure and verbal abuse on a level far exceeding the pushiness mentioned above. In a very small minority of people, this type of strategy can work in reigniting a relationship. However, those relationships are often abusive in one direction or another. That is not what you want for the person that you want to be the love of your life.

That leaves the ways that have the best chance of working. In reality, these ways are obvious once you remove the natural instincts that most people have when it comes to this particular topic. Things like honesty, genuine affection for your ex and the ability to leave them alone when they really need space from you are things that are obvious once you drop the ego, pride and stubbornness in order to realize the truth of what is going on here.

The truth of what is going on is this. Your ex dumped you. That means that they voluntarily chose to end their association with you. What you are trying to do is get them to not only voluntarily reverse that decision, but also voluntarily take it all the way back into the relationship they had beforehand. For more people, that takes a huge shift in their thinking. This is why pushiness is not going to work. Slowly turning their opinion by changing the things about yourself that made them break up with you in the first place will work, but you have to do it right.

If you want to know how to win your ex back the right way, this is it. There are two people that you need to look at. The first is the person that you were when your ex fell in love with you. The second is the person that you were when your ex dumped you. If you can figure out what changed between these two people, you will have a recipe for reversal that can get you to look attractive once again to your ex-lover.

Your goal here is to make them look at you with interest once more. Unless they look at you with interest, you are not going to be able to get them to come back to you. They need to be interested and attracted, just like they were the first time they fell in love with you. This strategy has the best chance of making you look like those things to your former partner once again.

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Women Men Love And Women Men Leave

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

There are two types of women in the world, women men love women men leave. Which one are you? It doesn’t really matter which side you fall on at this point, if you read and use the information in this article you can become the women men love for the rest of your life.

The first step to make sure your man will love you the way you want to be loved, is to know what it is your man needs in the relationship and then give it to him. This seemingly simple thing is messed up more often than you would believe. Many women will think this means to be completely subservient to their man and do whatever he wants even if she doesn’t want to do it.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality no man (unless he’s “damaged goods” which you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with anyway) wants a women who is a door mat. A real man will like his women to have a mind of her own, but he also wants her to be his biggest fan.

Women tend to think that if they give their man all the sex he wants, and if they dress up in sexy lingerie they are meeting all their mans needs. Again, if that is truly all your man needs you might want to find a man with a little more depth. It’s a misconception that all men want is sex. Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship, for men and women, but it shouldn’t be the do all, end all in any relationship, if it is your relationship will fail, it’s just a matter of time.

In order to really form a long lasting bond you need to base your relationship on more than just physical intimacy. Whether we like it or not, we will all get older and as we do sex will become more difficult for various physical reasons. If your whole relationship is just based on physical intimacy, how can it survive once that is taken out of the equation?

The women that men leave, believe it or not, are the women who try too hard to be whatever he wants. Your man needs to feel special and loved, admired, and desired, but it won’t mean very much to him if it doesn’t seem sincere. If he feels like you are just being pliable he will quickly get bored and move on to someone more ‘real’.

So for all you women out there, you do have a choice. You can be either type of women: women men love women men leave. It’s entirely up to you. It doesn’t mean giving up your own identity, it just means trying to understand your man and what he really wants and needs from you.

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Why Men Leave Pregnant Women

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

If you have wondered, hopefully not from personal experience, why men leave pregnant women there are many reasons. If the woman is his wife than it will probably be completely unexpected; after all he committed to the marriage why bail now?

Other than the unexpectedness of a married man leaving his pregnant wife, it’s usually pretty easy to spot the type of ‘man’ who would leave his pregnant girlfriend. I think all women need to use common sense before they get intimately involved with any man.

First of all if you are entering into an intimate relationship with a man before you have really gotten to know him you have to be aware that there are many potential dangers besides unexpected pregnancy. If you’ve been in the relationship for at least a little time there have probably been many signs that this guy is a loser.

Women are too quick to ‘forgive’ bad behavior in the men they date. They will say things like “he’s got a good heart’, “that’s just the way he was raised”, “it’s a guy thing”, etc. to justify the selfish and inconsiderate things their boyfriends do. If you’re this type of woman you really should get counseling so you can understand why you would settle for this type of relationship.

The reality is that some men just don’t like women and they get off on treating them badly. For some guys it can be a real ego boost to treat his girlfriend like trash and have her keep coming back for more. If you’re in a relationship with that type of guy it’s not too much of a stretch to think he might leave you if you got pregnant.

Any man who is verbally, emotionally, and especially physically abusive will more than likely leave you whenever the relationship isn’t convenient for him. If your man exhibits any of these traits you should make darn sure that you don’t accidentally get pregnant. Even if he doesn’t leave, he is already abusive and once you are ‘tied down’ with a child that abuse is almost guaranteed to increase.

So if you are with a man who doesn’t treat you with love, affection, and respect, you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself all on your own if you become pregnant. I’m not sure why men leave pregnant women expect that the term ‘man’ is probably not a very accurate description of these types of guys.

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Why Men Leave Their Wives

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

Today’s women can find it challenging sometimes to keep their marriages intact and happy. Many women wonder why men leave their wives and what they can do to make sure it doesn’t happen to them.

The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships. Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.

One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women. The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married.

This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships. It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, it’s in his nature. And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.

If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship. Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners. When you break it down like that it doesn’t really seem all that hard, does it?

If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs…all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though. Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own. No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that won’t keep a marriage intact.

While it’s important to try to meet your husbands needs it can’t be done to the detriment of your own. Don’t put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, you’ll be unhappy, he’ll be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage won’t last. For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.

So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives it’s usually because his needs aren’t being met, and I don’t just mean his sexual needs. I mean on some level he doesn’t feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.

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Do You Want To Be The Women Men Adore And Never Want To Leave

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

Many women dream of becoming the women men adore and never want to leave. But just as many women go about it in the totally wrong way and end up losing one guy after another. What is the secret? I’ll show you.

The first thing you have to do is totally change your way of thinking. Our society has done a huge disservice to men and women by creating unrealistic expectations of what men and women should be.

For example, for most of our history we have been taught that men are overly sexual and that they really only want sex. We’ve been led to believe that if we give our man enough sex he’ll love us forever and never leave. That is complete and utter nonsense!

Yes men like sex, but surprise, so do women! Women have just as high of a sex drive as men but the difference is our society has encouraged men to follow their sex drive while women have been taught that ‘good girls’ will wait until they’re married. The result? Men judge their ‘manliness’ on the number of conquests they make and women are frustrated and angry that they are forced to put their needs on hold.

So if you want to keep your man happy you need to get over the idea that he needs sex all the time or that he needs it more than you. Men and women really aren’t that different in what they need and want from a relationship. One word can describe what they want: connection.

As humans we all need to feel connected to others. If you can remember that and base your relationship on that fact you will have a great chance of making your man love you forever.

A connection can be made emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. The more of these types of connections you and your man have the stronger your relationship will be. If you want to keep him in love with you stay in love with yourself. Don’t get sidetracked and put all your desires on hold to accommodate your man. Most men will be flattered with that in the short term but in the long run they’ll get bored.

After all, you have to remember who you were when you met, he was attracted to that person so why would you change and become some boring, clingy person now?

The women men adore and never want to leave knows all of theses things. She gives her man the connections he needs while keeping her own identity intact. She doesn’t put his needs above hers, but she lets him know that she is his biggest fan and loves and accepts him unconditionally.

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Why Men Dont Leave Their Wives

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

If you are unlikely enough to find yourself in a relationship with a married man you have to understand why men don’t leave their wives. It’s true, married men rarely leave their wives for their mistresses. And to be honest, even if he did, why would you want a man who is a cheater?

Woman are compassionate, loving, forgiving, kind, and sometimes very gullible. You might think he’ll leave his wife because she’s old, fat, mean, stupid, nuts, controlling, etc. And maybe she is, but the truth is she’s probably none of these things, after all why would he have married her if she was? It’s much more likely that he’s just bored and you’re a convenient distraction.

Few women would knowingly start a relationship with a married man if he started talking about what a sexy and wonderful person his wife was, so as hard as it is to believe married men will often lie so that you can justify having sex with him.

The reasons men cheat usually come down to the fact that their marriage has gotten stale and one or more of his needs (not just sexually) are not being met to his satisfaction. That’s the same reason women cheat too.

The problem is that at the end of the day he probably still has feelings for his wife or at least doesn’t want to go through the expense of a divorce. You also have to take into consideration the way both sides of his family will react, and if there are kids involved most men are unwilling to hurt their own children.

If you are a women who is involved with a married man and want to know why men don’t leave their wives there can be many reasons. The important thing to remember is that it really doesn’t matter why he won’t leave, it only matters that you know he probably won’t leave his wife and he’s not much of a prize even if he did.

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Cheaters - How Can I Save Our Relationship

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you or your partner cheated, you may wonder how you can ever move on. The question is for cheaters how can I save our relationship? There are many things you can do to move your relationship forward after one person has been unfaithful, but you have to keep in mind that sometimes a relationship simply cannot be saved.

If both parties want to try to save the relationship and move on after an affair it will take a lot of time and maturity. It’s really tough to trust again after someone has taken your trust and thrown it away. Some people will not be able to get over it and it will not only end their existing relationship but that lack of trust can follow them to relationship after relationship for the rest of their lives.

Because the hurt you can cause another person could literally scar them for life it’s really important that you really think it through before you decide to cheat. After all, is a little fun on the side, or a quick ego boost really worth the pain you’ll be causing another human being? If you are so insecure that you think it’s worth it just so you can feel better about yourself and more desirable you should probably not be in any relationship and spend some time in a therapists office.

One of the biggest things you will need to do to move your relationship forward after an affair is to have both parties be brutally honest about the initial breakdown of the relationship and their part in it. Blame for ruining a relationship is always shared by both parties, not always equally, but there are reasons the relationship fell apart to the point that someone thought they needed to have their needs satisfied by someone else.

Once you can honestly admit what went wrong you can solve the problem if you and your partner can communicate effectively. This means you have to avoid name calling, finger pointing, and accusations. If you can communicate in an adult fashion about the problems in your relationship and what you can do to fix them you might be able to salvage your relationship.

The bottom line is that not all relationships should be saved. If you are involved with someone who has a long history of cheating you should just move on. They are obviously too concerned with their own selfish wants and needs, and they will never change. If, on the other hand, someone just gave into a moment of weakness you might be able to work together to save your relationship. So ask yourself: cheaters, how can I save our relationship?

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How Do I Get My Wife To Come Back Home

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

It can be one of life’s most difficult situations: a marriage falling apart. While it is important to try to honestly evaluate the problems in your marriage, and be willing to make reasonable changes to your unacceptable behavior, you still need to answer the question: ‘how do i get my wife to come back home?’ You can’t even work on your relationship until she is home.

It’s helpful if you have a ‘game plan’ for when your wife returns home. This isn’t about manipulation or only paying lip service to making changes, it’s about taking stock of the person you are and what areas of your personality and behavior you need to change. Remember you’re not just making changes to keep your wife happy, you’re making changes that need to be made for you to become a better person and a better husband.

Having given honest consideration to these things before your wife comes home will mean that you don’t just repeat the same hurtful and destructive behaviors that caused her to leave in the first place. You don’t want to have a relationship that is turbulent where you are constantly fighting about the same things. That type of relationship isn’t good for anyone. Now that you have honestly accepted that there are some changes you will need to make, it’s time to figure out how to get your wife to come home.

Here are some steps that can help you convince your wife that you still love her and there is hope for your relationship and that she should return home:

1. The first thing is to let her know that you’ve been honest with yourself and realize that there are things in your behavior that you are willing, and able, to change. Let her know that you are a sincere, mature man who wants to be a better man and a better husband and that you are willing to work on those things. If she has real reason to believe things can be different this time she’ll be more likely to return home and give it a try.

2. Don’t go into ‘bachelor mode’ and be a pig. Keep the house clean. Shower, shave, do the laundry, etc. Your wife sure isn’t going to want to come home if she feels like she is just going to have to be the maid. No woman wants to have to be a mother to her own husband. Most woman want a friend, a partner, and a lover. Let her see that even though you miss her, you respect her enough to keep up with the housework even when you’re on your own.

3. If you’re wrong, admit it and apologize. Many men get caught up in the macho idea that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you screw up and admit it and apologize that is actually a sign of confidence, strength, and maturity.

Admitting when you are wrong and offering a sincere apology not only lets others know that you are a mature, confidant person, it also shows that you have respect for yourself and for them.

The reality is that people who won’t apologize are actually very weak and insecure. They are too unsure of themselves to be able to admit they were wrong. When you’re confidant enough in yourself to offer a sincere apology it shows that you are a strong, confidant individual…and that is sexy to any woman.

I hope these tips have given you some ideas on how to answer the question: “how do i get my wife to come back home?” The point is that if you truly want your marriage to work you need to be willing to work on your marriage. It takes two.

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How To Avoid A Long Term Relationship Breakup

Tuesday Feb 2, 2010

Every couple experiences rough patches but how can you avoid a long term relationship breakup?

We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.

Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk of your offspring, your money issues or your family. The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret.

When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It is not all about sex but holding hands, cuddling and being affectionate. If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out.

Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety and despair on both sides. But you cannot pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game. Both of you have to make a list of all the things you would like to do/have done to each other. Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice bath and allow her to soak for an hour with only the candles for company. We can probably guess what he would like!

Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation. There has to be the x factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smoldering ember. But the good news is that it is easy to relight those smoldering embers, you just need a little practice!

Couple that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings and make time for one another will find themselves to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life is not a bed of roses but it is a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love. You should avoid that long term relationship breakup at all costs.

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